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An excerpt from the new book, “It Made a Difference to That One: The Realization of a Dream to Save Needy Children Through Boys and Girls Homes of North Carolina.”
Living the dream at Boys and Girls Homes was much like living in the “average” American home, as much as it could be. It was intended to be that way! The feeling was that the children who came to the Homes should be given every opportunity to live as normal a lifestyle as could be provided.
The cottages were designed and managed much like a typical home, containing a living area, dining area, kitchen, laundry, recreation room and bedrooms. The founders did not want the cottages to be dorm-like or set up like penal facilities. And the adults were called “house parents” or in today’s vernacular, “teaching parents”—with the emphasis on “parents.” The routines were similar to those of a typical home, with the children having set times for family-style meals, study, recreation, sleeping, waking, and most of all, chores.
As the cottages were constructed, several of the first “parents” in those homes were retired grandmotherly ladies who were responsible for up to sixteen young men. Along with the counselors, they were many things to the boys including mother, father, grandparent, friend, etc.
When one listens to the alumni of the Homes talk about their house parents, you can sense both a fondness and appreciation for the firmness the “parents” demonstrated as they watched over them. One former resident wrote,
“My brother…and I were residents at the home back in 1966, and we were there for about five years. At the time we thought it was kind of rough, but as we have had the time and years to reflect back on our time there, we both agree that had it not been for the Home we would have never made it in life. I will never forget the wonderful people I was so fortunate to become acquainted with while there. The people of North Carolina are so very lucky to have such a place as the Boys and Girls Home that their children can go to because it really turns out some of the finest citizens this country will ever know. I am thankful for the memories!”
Many alumni express similar sentiments. Often they return to the Homes with their families to share that part of their lives. One former resident wrote this:
“I was in the Jaycee Cottage. At the time, I did not want to be there, as I was placed there against my will. As I grew older, I realized that being there at the Boys Home (as it was called then) was the best place in the world for me to be. I would imagine the House Parents at that time…have long retired. I learned a lot from those two people, and admire them for the contribution, as well as the sacrifices they made on the kids’ behalf. I’d love to visit there and show my kids the things I remember. From the pecan trees, to the horse ranch, to the big lake, it is truly a nice place, from what I remember.”
The children endeared themselves to the house parents as well. A former parent wrote:
“Lately, I have found myself wondering about the boys that my husband and I cared for as house parents in the JC Cottage. So I looked to see if Boys and Girls Home of NC had a website and was delighted to find it. I see that my boy…was there for nine years. He was such a sweet child. I was not surprised at his…success. He used to come in my back door at the JC Cottage (from the Lions Cottage). I would hear his astounding voice, clear back into the laundry room, break into a divine spiritual song. Bless his heart! Yes, I have many beautiful memories with my boys. I had to make sure that every one of them had a homemade birthday cake and small present. They would be overjoyed! Most of them had never even had a birthday cake, much less a present at that time. We also had a great time making Halloween costumes for the boys. We would go over to the Country Store, pick up bits and pieces and throw them together at the sewing machine, and most times, my boys would win the costume contest. I remember little (name withheld). We found him a tux with tails and made him a top hat, decorated with silver glitter. He took first place for his age group. Then there was (name withheld) we made into Frankenstein. I still love looking at my old pictures of them. I just wonder if they ever think of us.”
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