How to earn a nickname

Our friend, Lloyd, told us about his family reunion and his Aunt Irene. He said she had become intoxicated and several of the family members tried to get her into the house to lie down. She refused.

It wasn’t long before she passed out in front of the picnic tables. People just walked around her being careful not to step on her. No one wanted her to get hurt. She had been out for awhile when Uncle Charlie, her husband, who had gone to the beer store, you know, for more beer, came back.

Well, he decided it was too far to walk from where the cars were parked, so he’d just drive up to those picnic tables so as not to have so far to walk. Everyone started yelling for him to STOP! Being slightly intoxicated himself, Uncle Charlie couldn’t figure out why they were yelling. So he just kept coming.

Well, sure enough, he ran right over Aunt Irene. It scared him so bad he put that car in reverse and backed right over
her again.

I asked Lloyd: “What did you do?” He said, “There were
so many people over there, I just sat in my car and watched. ‘Twern’t nothing I could do.”

“Did it kill her?” I asked.

“Naw, it broke her arm. We all just call her ‘Speed Bump’ now.”

Linda Linville
Dobson
Surry-Yadkin EMC

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